The Unspoken Speech

Where I could hear the sorrow and sadness inside a single speech:

"Sometimes I feel that theres something that blocking my way to love you even more. That I feel insecure when you were not around me. I want to tell you that, how much important you are in my life after my family.  But its hard to show it because, I'm not a kind of romantic person that can describe it how to do it. Sometimes when I'm alone, I just need to be alone and have some space for me to do my work freely without anyone disturbing me ( not because I'm don't want to talk to somebody, but because it's one of my darkside that I want you to know). Well, to get is easy, but to keep it is hard for me. What I mean is that I'm bad in keeping my relationship, and I'm struggling at my peak point to hold on it. Furthermore, you ask me "why I'm act like ignoring you?", it's also one of my darkside that I'm trying to control it. If you think I'm a terrible person 'yes, I am a terrible person', and if you think I didn't love you anymore 'No, I'm still loving you'.  I've got a lot of assignments to do this week and need to be submit it ASAP. You will think I'm not loving you anymore and keep on questioning me this and that. But trust me, if you think that I'm not loving you anymore 'that is definitely wrong in any circumstances'. If I don't love you anymore, why do I keep on texting you the first place? And if you want us to be friend, it's your choice babe, I'm not gonna force you to love me. It's not my decision to make you love me.. if 'jodoh' kita kuat, if Allah memang dah takdirkan kita bersama. InshaAllah we will keep on being together if not today, tomorrow, if not tomorrow, maybe in the future. I'll be waiting for you to make your decision and I'll accept every decision that you make without hesitation. And this week is the most stressful week that you need to know. Eventhough I have time for my social apps, I still got works to do. So have you satisfied with my explanation?
And have a nice day."

The reality of bitterness, with a rose covered with tears. Because loving you is the best part of my life, ever dream of. And now you're gone. Because of the egoism and selfishness of my mortal self. You are the girl that I dreaming about.
I miss you, I really miss you.
Take care yourself, and be kind.
Until we meet again soon, until we meet again...